Top Five Reasons and Ways to Take Care of Your Elders Parents Grandparents

There will almost absolutely come a day when your parents and/grandparents will need YOU. When this time comes, they will probably not admit that they need YOU or ANYONE, but in reality, they will definitely need SOMEONE.

It's actually quite similar to the days when you were a tiny baby and you needed them to: survive every day; have help going to the bathroom; be fed a good meal; take a real bath; get dressed appropriately; etc...

You may not remember those days with convincing clarity, but you do know that they existed regardless of what you actually recall.

Your parents/grandparents, (the people who raised you, fed you, took care of you, gave you shelter, gave you love and support...), will someday grow older and NEED you.

Are you ready? Do you have a clue what this involves?
Bottom line (if you choose to distance yourself from this natural occurence) is that you have to find the best nursing home/assisted living facility in your area that is suitable for your parent(s)/grandparent(s)...

I have more advice on how to choose the BEST home outside of your home for your parents/grandparents later...

However, if you are at all like me, and you choose to become your parents/grandparents' caretaker, the story is entirely different...

You will need a number of material things, as well as a diverse range of emotions, an undisputed grasp on reality (if that's possible), the ability to put someone (other than your child/children) totally before yourself...

1) Remember that THEY MADE YOU who you are today...

They took care of your every basic need for at least five to ten years... They changed your diaper, gave you a bath, rocked you to sleep at night, ran to your crib in the middle of the night if you were crying... and MUCH MORE - Think about it...

2) Consider the fact that they probably did WITHOUT luxuries

like vacations, new furniture, the latest clothing styles, the best vehicles, etc... so that they COULD GIVE YOU THE BEST there was to give...

3) Do not forget that without them, you would not be here.

They CHOSE to have you, to BRING YOU into this world... What can be a more significant sign of love than that?

4) Think about how different and probably HARD life was for them compared to how they made life for you...

It's natural for a parent to want and/or try to give their child/children more or better than what they had growing up... but DO you REALLY appreciate and/or acknowledge this?

5) Your parents/grandparents unarguably made sacrifices in their lives, so that you could have a better life...

Don't you think you should do the same?

How can you give them back what they gave to you?

If you choose to put them in a nursing home/assisted living facility, make it your business to FIND the BEST one there is in your area. Make sure you VISIT your parents/grandparents REGULARLY (atleast once or twice a week...)

Get involved at the facility that you chose for them, VOLUNTEER your time and/or donate extra supplies etc...

If you decide to keep your parents/grandparents at home with you, make sure you accommodate their basic needs (ie. wheelchair ramp, hospital bed, assisted in-home nursing care, proper diet, adequate exercise, etc...)

Remember that they're hurting a lot more than you are and a lot more than they'll probably ever tell you. They made a tremendous effort to make your life relatively easy when you were growing up, the least they deserve is to have a life that is comparably comfortable as they live out their golden years.

And for the small percentage of people who read this article and think "My parents/grandparents did not do anything for me growing up..." or "They made my life miserable..." or "They could have done a lot more for me when I was a kid..." etc...

Consider this, you made it to where you are today without their "unconditional love and support" that I described, so although you may not feel that you "owe" them anything...

Maybe you should be a bigger person and reach out to help them in any way you can, in ways that you feel they did not help you... Maybe you will get to know them in a different way, on a different level... and perhaps you will even come to understand why they made the choices they made when you were a child...

If you don't try to reach out to them now, you may never have the chance again.

Once they're gone, you will never be able to get answers to any of your lingering questions...

Playgroups Online and Offline

Staying at home with your kids is a rewarding experience. Sometimes you and your kids need interaction with the outside world. One way to do this that is both a benefit to your children and yourself is to create or join a playgroup. This gives your child(ren) valuable interaction that is needed to develop his/her social skills. In addition it gives you an excellent opportunity to converse with adults. We all know what it's like to be at home all day with no adult interaction.

Playgroups can be found or formed at local community centers, church organizations, and mutual friends and online. If you have friends or family with children the same age then you have the makings of a possible playgroup. If not, then you can go to your community center, church or online playgroup search to look for other moms with the same interests.

In addition to setting up playdates, this is a good avenue to set up girls’ night outs with other moms.

Setting up playmates:

Rotate the play date host from each playgroup mom. This will allow the children to interact in different settings.

Keep the day/time consistent so that it will not interfere in the children’s' schedules (nap, sleep, mommy time)

Schedule public play dates at your local park, story time at the local bookstore, swimming pools, etc... This will take the monotony out of it.

Bring the necessary change of clothes, diapers, and snacks.

Going Online to find playgroups:

Playgroup matching sites are springing up on the Internet. These allow you to look for other moms looking for playgroups to join based on city and/or zip code. One such playgroup search is at MommiesCloset.Com's Playgroups database. This site as with others allow you to both join existing playgroups and to create playgroups for other moms to join. Some site such as the one mentioned above, allow you to search by zip code giving a defined radius to limit your search (i.e. 30 miles from 90210). Many moms are finding these sites extremely useful.

Once you have your playgroup, just remember to enjoy yourself and make it an enjoyable experience for your children.

Top Ten List on Getting Out the Door on Time

Top Ten List on Getting out the Door on Time!

1. Identify a place to put car keys, gloves, umbrellas etc., for quick access when you leave the house

2. Teach your children to use an alarm clock or clock radio

3. Don’t hit your “snooze” button. Shower and get dressed before the kids wake up

4. Choose clothing and accessories the night before

5. Pack lunches the night before

6. Decide on breakfast the night before

7. Create a “special place” (folder, drawer, shelf) for your child to put papers from school, that you need to sign and return.

8. Let the answer machine take a message (return calls at YOUR convenience)

9. Keep a jar with “lunch money” in it in a central location

10. Don’t try to do more than get ready. Unless you wake a few hours earlier in the morning, laundry, cleaning, bills etc., are for another time.

The Design Psycho Learns to Relax

Our family home in Palatka, Florida was a grand Victorian dream that we salvaged from spiders and neglect. Our Victorian Lady featured a fabulous dining room, complete with twelve-foot high ceilings, ornate carved fireplace, and a ten-by-eight foot antique mirror. Furnishings included a pump organ, an English side table, a huge triple-tiered wrought iron chandelier, and an antique banquet table with twelve chairs.

We wallpapered the dining room ceiling with a faux-tin pattern, and then painted it a glossy forest green to reflect shimmers of candlelight. An Anaglypta border (thick, embossed wall covering), painted rouge red, framed frescoed plaster walls that were layered in transparent ambers, creams, and a hint of pink.

The dining chairs and antique overstuffed reading chairs matched the fabric window dressings that framed the huge water-color-effect leaded windows. The undulating fabric pattern tied together all the colors we'd chosen to enhance our dining delight. The gentle swags, imitating nature's motifs, had been selected to make us feel relaxed and connected to Mother Earth.

Embellishments to the chandelier included huge red and amber crystals that we'd uncovered in an antique-junk shop and mini shades. I had spray-painted the shades black with gold-gilded interiors. The elegant room, dressed in its finery on a budget, was the setting for our nightly family dining, because it offered the only place to sit and eat together in the house.

One evening, as I prepared for guests, I got out my string, to make sure that the table, now beautifully set with turkey and all the trimmings, was aligned perfectly with the center of the chandelier. My children laughed at my obsession, but helped hold the string while I measured to make sure the table was correctly centered.

We met our friends on the front porch as they arrived, and then migrated to our perfectly-arranged dining room, where our magnificently-staged table was waiting. But as we walked into the dining room, we found our beloved golden retriever, standing at attention in the middle of the table, after having devoured our feast.

No one noticed that the table was sitting in the exact center of the room.

Creating a fabulous dining room for your family and guests deserves careful planning. Design your eating space using colors that enhance taste, small patterns mimicking nature, and soft textures to counter hard surfaces. Remember, the most important ingredient, the people, deserve a fine backdrop. And, feed your pets first!

Medical Records Checkup How To Keep Your Personal Medical Files Under Control

Quick. In five seconds or less can you recall the exact date and time of your last doctor’s visit? Could you remember when your next prescription refill is due? If one of your children or your spouse was suddenly rushed to the hospital, could you quickly gather all the necessary health insurance papers and relevant medical records?

If you answered no to any of the above questions, you’re not alone. Of all the records we keep in our home filing cabinet, few are as important as our medical records. Not only do they inform our doctors of any special care we require, but they also help us stay up- to-date on our medical progress and help us plan for future medical needs. In the event of a medical emergency, the more organized you are before the crisis, the better your chances for coming through the event with the least number of complications.

Perhaps the biggest challenge of storing personal medical records is the sheer amount of paperwork itself. After all, every doctor’s visit, every pharmacy prescription, and every insurance payment generates at least one to two sheets of paper. For example, one 30-minute doctor’s visit alone could easily result in five or more pieces of paper—diagnosis information, doctor’s bill, prescription and drug info sheet, health insurance authorization and insurance statement. With so many papers to keep track of, it’s no wonder many people give up and just toss it all into a “to do” pile.

However, when it comes to medical information, there are four main categories of paperwork you need to retain: 1) prescription information, 2) general health information, 3) specific medical condition information for each family member, and 4) health insurance information. Look through all the medical records you currently have stored and divide the papers into these four categories.

For prescription information, keep a record of the drug name and dosage amount for each prescription. Also keep note of refill dates and the number of refills remaining. File any drug info sheet your pharmacist gives you, as these may help you quickly identify any drug interactions or dangerous side effects.

General health information may include articles you’ve read about lowering cholesterol, losing weight, or any other topic of interest to you. This information does not need to relate to any specific person or ailment. In contrast, specific medical condition information for each family member should include everything related to a particular disease or ailment someone has. Keep a separate file for each condition and each family member so nothing gets confused.

When organizing your health insurance information, keep a record of every payment and authorization. Also make sure you have the most updated listing of what services are covered and which doctors participate in your health plan. Having accurate insurance information could save you both money and time in the long run.

Filing System for Organizing Medical Claim Info:

1. Insurance Policy Guidelines for Primary Policy

2. Claims to be submitted to Primary Policy Holder

3. Claims submitted, but not paid by Primary Policy Holder

4. Insurance Policy Guidelines for Supplemental Policy

5. Claims to be submitted to Supplemental Policy Holder

6. Claims submitted to Supplemental Policy Holder, but not paid

7. Claims paid

Your Paper Prescription In the past, there were only four things you could do with all this paper: toss it, stack it, file it the traditional way, or convert it to electronic form using a scanner. Now a fifth option is available—a software program that allows you to keep your information in paper form in your filing cabinet. The incredible search power of the computer enables you to find anything you want in five seconds or less.

This software, Kiplinger’s Taming the Paper Tiger(www.thepapertiger.com) published by Monticello Enterprises of Sunnyvale, CA, and based on the book Taming the Paper Tiger, utilizes one simple principle: Clutter is Postponed Decisions®. These days, too few people are deciding whether to keep something, where to keep it, how long to keep it, or how to find it. As a result, it sits and sits and sits, until it get buried beneath some new pile.

But consider this. There are only three things you can do with any piece of paper: 1)File it for future reference; 2) Act on it; or 3) Toss it. The Paper Tiger calls it The FAT System™. A major premise of the program is a series of questions called, “The Art of Wastebasketry?.” The most important question is, “What is the worst possible thing that would happen if I didn’t have this information?” If you can live with the answer, toss it. Additionally, research shows that 80% of what we keep we never use, but frequently we aren’t willing to take that risk. At that point, whether you plan to take action on the item or simply put it away in case you need it in the future, a good filing system is the best alternative to stacks of paper that often turn into outdated and unused clutter.

So before you make another doctor’s appointment, make sure your medical information is the most current and easy to retrieve. By creating an effective filing system today you’ll enable yourself to stay better informed about your health matters. You’ll also be better prepared for doctor’s visits and any medical emergencies, should they occur. Most important, you’ll be able to approach each day with less stress, knowing you can find what you need exactly when you need it.

Disaster Proof Your Important Papers

In case you have to evacuate your home in an emergency, keep copies of your most vital papers in a portable container you can easily take with you.

Keep original copies of difficult-to-replace documents, such as birth certificates and titles, in a safe deposit box. Make sure the box is held in more than one person’s name. While information regarding bank accounts, insurance policies, and investments can be reproduced from account numbers, having immediate access to hard copy may be helpful.

Be sure you keep a list of all the documents you have and where they are located. Make sure that family members and those who need access to them know where to find this master list.

VITAL RECORDS
• Birth certificates and adoption records
• Marriage certificates and divorce decrees
• Driver’s licenses
• Passports/Visas/Green cards
• Social Security cards
• Titles, deeds and registrations for property owned
• Wills and trust documents
• Mortgage and loan information
• Insurance policies
• Bank account records
• Investment account records
• Credit card numbers

Key contact numbers to carry in your wallet: Doctor, employer/spouse’s employer, children’s schools, banks, insurance agents, minister, rabbi or priest, close relatives, friends and neighbors, utility companies and alarm system company.

Its Not My Fault Whose Responsibility Is It Anyway

It amazes me, how often during a week, I hear "It's not my fault, it's not my responsibility".

It seems that in today's society no one wants to take responsibility for anything. Parents don't or won't take the responsibility of how their children turn out. It's the daycare's fault, the school's fault, the college's fault, the cop's fault, ... you get the picture. As far as children go today, newsflash parents, "It is your fault." They are your children, not the daycare's or the schools. It is your responsibility to be sure that they get to school, that they learn in school, and what they do after school. That means paying attention to what your children are doing. Taking an interest in the homework they have, and if they don't have any, giving them some. Monitoring what kind of music they listen to, what they watch on television, what kind of movies they watch, and the video games they play. Teaching them the difference between reality and imaginary ideas, people and things. Television and video games are not baby-sitters, and neither is the school system. Your children are your responsibility, and in all honesty if you don't have the time to spend with your children, then don't have them. I fully realize that both parents have to work today because of the cost of things. However, there are parents raising children who are aware of what their children are doing, spend time with them, and instill in them ethics, morals and values so that their children can become productive adults. Unfortunately, these parents appear to be few and far between.

Teachers, your job is to teach our children. The crying about class size doesn't cut it. When I attended school we had a minimum of 30 students in most classes, and teachers taught and we all passed our Regents exams before graduating high school. Unfortunately, while I was in college I could see the writing on the wall already regarding our education system. Those who were going into teaching only had to pass/fail classes such as psychology, sociology, and learning theory classes; and they couldn't even do that. Our education system has gone downhill since the mid 70's. Yes, there are still some good teachers out there, those in their 40's and up. However, we have teachers today that can't read and write, so how can we expect them to teach our children to do so. Some of the teachers today are afraid of being tested on a yearly basis, and many of them should be, because they would not pass. The standards for testing today are a joke. I would love to give a Regents Exam test from a high school in the 50's, 60's, and even early 70's. Both the students and the teachers today wouldn't pass.

I know I am making a lot of people angry, and you should be. The fault lies with our educational system. It has disintegrated over the years. Too many other factors have come into play in our school system. This is something that should not have happened. In order to get good teachers, children and parents have to respect them, and unfortunately today that is not the case. When I was attending school, we respected our teachers and our principals. Suspension was a punishment and an embarrassment, both to ourselves and our parents. Teachers were allowed to reprimand students. They didn't have to worry about student rights, students self esteem, etc. When we start respecting our teachers again, let them teach and not worry about being politically correct, and pay them a salary they can live on we will get the better educated to teach our children. In addition, parents look at teachers as their baby-sitters, and expect them not only to educate their child but to help raise them. Parents you have a responsibility to your child and to the teacher. You have to respect the teacher and support them, not fight them.

So many of the problems today both with parenting and teaching is the way society and government put handcuffs on both. Parents can't even hit their children today without the threat of being a child abuser and being carted off the jail, court or worse. Discipline is not abuse, and I believe that discipline is sorely needed. I am not advocating child abuse, however, you cannot reason with a 2 year old sticking their finger in a wall socket. A firm no, with a slight slap of the hand works wonders. I am amazed at what children get away with today. However, they get away with these things, because parents let them. Over the years we've let government, vocal parental groups, legislators and the legal system dictate how we raise our children. Why? Because then we can use the mantra, "It's not my fault, it's not my responsibility".

People today are to quick to abdicate responsibility to everyone but themselves. One of the biggest problems are all the frivolous lawsuits out there. Children taking their parents to court. Parents suing companies because of hot coffee, a hot pickle. These cases get too much attention and unbelievably juries that give out awards.

The media perpetuates many of the problems today. By focusing so much attention on the people that do harm to others, more individuals out there figure if they want attention they need to do the same. This becomes a vicious cycle, and teaches our children the wrong way to accomplish things.

So, how do we fix it. We all take responsibility for our actions. We don't abdicate our responsibility. We admit we are human, we make mistakes, and move forward from there. Try and I mean really try not to make the same mistakes over and over. But most important of all, take the responsibility for
your own screw ups and don't put the blame on anyone else.

Seven Simple Tips About Child Custody Issues

The following advice comes from my heart and my personal experience. I am not a lawyer. I did graduate from college with a degree in Communications, however, that does not qualify me to offer professional legal advice. If you read this article, remember you must consult an attorney to get help for your specific situation.

There are numerous, diverse issues surrounding legal custody of your children. Laws vary from state to state. Each individual situation is different depending on your personal circumstances, such as: marital status; employment; income; other financial resources; family support; relationship with other parent; past history of abuse or domestic violence; arrest record; and past role in children's life.

The following ideas are only some suggestions to consider if you are fighting for custody of your children or if you fear that you may have to battle the father/mother of your children for custody.

My first suggestion comes from my own terrifying experience.

1 - Don't think you will never have to fight for custody of your children.

Don't assume you know the father/mother of your children so well, that you have no fear of being forced to fight this man or woman to retain your parental rights. Don't foolishly trust everything the father/mother of your children tells you.

If they were planning to file for custody of your children, do you really think they'd let you know in advance? Obviously if they gave you with any type of a warning, you would have time to obtain your own lawyer and try to beat them at their own game. So of course, they're going to lie about their intentions if they're planning to seek custody of your children.

And they're going to try to make their lies sound so sincere, so convincing and so honest that you could easily be deceived. The only advice I have about how to tell the difference between a lie and the truth is - go with your gut instinct. If you have any reason to believe they may be thinking of filing for custody of your children, follow your heart. If you have any doubt about how honest they're being with you, don't wait around to see what happens next. Time is critical, so don't delay taking action to protect yourself if you feel threatened or mislead in any way.

2 - Be very careful about who you trust with important information.

You may be shocked to find out how quickly word travels from what you tell your friends or some of your family members to the other parent's friends or family members. People love to gossip. Rumors spread like wildfire with little regard for you or your children.

The only way to extinguish flaming tales of your tragic situation is to keep your mouth shut. Don't share your side of the story with anyone unless you are willing to bet your life and your future with your children on their loyalty to you.

When you're hurt by the actions of the father/mother of your children, it can be very difficult to not talk about your feelings of disbelief, anger, anxiety and devastation, but it can hurt you more in the long run to share your emotions with even your closest friends and family. You never know who will repeat what you say to whom and there's nothing worse than being stabbed in the back by someone you thought you could trust.

This may be the most expensive, bitter battle of your life. Don't risk the outcome by revealing significant factors of your defense to more than a few of your closest friends or family members, who you trust with all your heart. The stakes are high in any custody case. Gambling in this situation can reduce your credibility, destroy your reputation, ruin your defense strategy and significantly decrease your chances of winning in court.

3 - Hire a lawyer. You do need one.

You're selling yourself short if you don't seek legal advice. Unless you have incredible knowledge of the child custody laws in your state, if you are not represented by an attorney, you will probably be manipulated, intimidated and mislead by the attorney hired by the father/mother of your children.

Lawyers are not cheap. Hourly rates vary from $100 to $300 an hour. Be prepared to pay anywhere from $200 to $500 just for an initial consultation, which is the first step in finding a lawyer to represent you. Once you share your side of the story with an attorney, they should tell you what they believe the chances are for you to prevail, what their strategy would be to defend you, and how much they will require as a “retainer fee.”

Retainer fees can range from $500 to $5,000 for a really good lawyer. You must pay this money up front before they will take actions to represent you. This fee is usually put into an account that your attorney uses to fund your defense. Each phone call, office visit, fax correspondence, conference call with other attorney, review of your message on voice mail, etc. costs you money. The attorney deducts these costs from the retainer fee.

4 - Seek free legal advice if you cannot afford to pay for an attorney.

If you cannot afford a lawyer, most states have free legal services available for people, who qualify for this type of assistance based on their income.

If you have time to look for a lawyer, one of the best ways to find a good attorney, is by asking friends, family, business associates - people with knowledge in this field - people you respect and trust. What you hear by word of mouth will probably give you more honest insight into a lawyer's ability than any advertisement claiming to offer the best attorneys for your case.

If you think you can't afford to hire an attorney, consider whether you can afford to lose custody of your children. The choice is yours. Where there's a will, there's usually a way. You may have to take a bank loan, remortage your house, borrow from friends or family members, sell your favorite toys, cash in savings bonds, withdraw from your retirement account, pawn your diamond ring, or cancel your cable television, cellular phone service, or other little luxuries, but aren't your children worth making any sacrifice to ensure your future together?

5 - Watch your back.

Consider every move you make with extreme caution. You would be surprised how stupid little actions you take can be twisted to appear negative or illegal. Don't do anything remotely illegal, like: lying on your tax return; taking a job that pays “under the table;” drinking and driving; associating with people who may be linked to potentially illegal activities or visiting establishments with questionable reputations.

Make an extra effort to keep your house clean, free of products containing alcohol, and full of items essential for proper feeding, bathing, teaching, and caring for your children. You never know who is watching you or when you may get a knock at the door from the local Child Welfare authorities, who received an anonymous report that you're an unfit parent.

If you believe in the "always innocent until proven guilty" concept, you may be disappointed. Better safe than sorry when it's your children, your reputation, your parenting skills, your mental stability and your life that's on trial.

6 - Never ever sign anything that your attorney hasn't read.

Better yet only sign documents related to your child custody case in the presence of your attorney.

Even though it takes less than a minute to apply your signature to a piece of paper, it can take months to reverse the terms you agreed to be signing a legal document.

7 - Remember no matter how much you're hurting and regardless of how much you loathe the father/mother of your children, a child custody case is not about you.

It's about your children. It's about what's best for them. The court battle and the consequences of the outcome have the potential to hurt your kids more than anyone.

Saving Money on Groceries Seven Cautions

With the new system our family uses, we save at least one- third or more on our grocery bill from two years ago. These seven cautions are part of how we do this. If you are serious about saving; give them a try.

1) Don't be brand loyal; use different brands. You don't have to buy generic either. We almost exclusively buy brand names. Buying a particular brand on one or two items is OK. To save the most, get the best deal on the majority of the items bought.

2) Be sure sales are sales. Store frequently place certain items on sale during set times of the year. Two for one sales are popular. However, a 2 for 1 sale doesn't save money if the store increased its price while placing it "on sale". Be aware of stores who constantly have insufficient stock. The hope is the shopper will buy what is on the shelve. Ask for rain checks. Some of our best buys are when we combine doubled coupons with 2 for 1 sales.

3) Check expiration dates. Some sale items have dates soon to expire. It isn't a good deal if the date goes out before it can be used.

4) Don't buy something you don't normally use just because you have a coupon. Using coupons wisely saves money. If you can't or won't use the item, it's not a deal no matter what the price. Some coupons are for new food items. You won't know the "normal or sale" price on these items because they are new.

5) Be careful about sale conditions and limits. Do you have to buy $25.00 worth of groceries to get the sale price? Is there a limit to the quantity? Is the sale only for Friday - Sunday? It's not a deal if you have to buy more than you need to get one item.

6) Match your weekly menu to reflect what's in season and what's in your pantry. If you have to go back to the grocery to get one more item, you'll more likely to buy at a higher price. If it's out of season it will cost more.

7) Don't buy convenience foods unnecessarily. Convenience costs more. I would never suggest to forgo use of convenience foods. However buying fewer or buying only on sale will save a lot of money. Consider learning how to create your own convenience foods. Many sites have recipes for such food items.

Saving money is possible. Prices on items change week to week. Be aware. You can save.

The 5 Myths Of Saving Money On Food

Almost everyone needs or wants to save money for time to time. Some expenditures can not be changed easily; like rent, car payments, insurance. Saving on food is a goal many try to accomplish. Some don't succeed at it as well as they can or quit after awhile like a smoker trying to quit. One of the budget items people can adjust is money spent on food and dining. It is not as hard as believed if approached with forethought and learning what works for others.

The average American family today dines out and uses convenience foods far more often than families did 25 years ago. This budget area offers an excellent way to spend less while still eating well. To save the most know certain shopping truths. To know how something works, you sometimes need to know what doesn't work.

5 myths of saving money on food

1. To save money you have to use coupons. False. You can save money on food without using coupons, but it takes a little more planning. Two for one item sales and special holiday sales can help particularly.

2. Wholesale stores are always better to shop at. False. While certain items bought in quantity offer significant savings, the choice of what you need or want may not be there. Check the price to be sure it is a better price!

3. Store brands are always the cheapest buy. False. Sales frequently bring brand names close to store brands. Add a coupon or buy at a 2 for 1 sales price, brand names are less.

4. You save more money by shopping several stores. False. How much is your time worth? How much more will you spend on gas? Would you be able to stick to a set list when you shop more than one store? On a weekly basis, our finding is one particular store will usually be your best buying location.

5. Buying the largest package sizes save more. False. The larger volume package does not always save money. Plus, is there any waste? Can you use it all?

6. It takes a long time to prepare to save money. False. Our weekly grocery trip is planned in less than one hour, rarely longer except for big events. Most of it I do sitting in front of my favorite TV show.

Each of the above six myths are incorrect. Want to save money? Take a look at how you are shopping and what assumptions you are making. Taking time to check out those assumptions may save you from making some costly mistakes.

Protection Against People With Evil Intentions Towards You

Imagine this "You have a new colleague who seems very nice but too nice until you feel suspicious about her motives. To be on the safe side, you decided to test her by inviting her to your house for tea. She started sneezing the moment she entered your house. Before tea, she complained about having a stomachache. She left early for home due to a severe headache. Confirmed! She has evil intentions!"

Above is just an exaggerated example. However, Chinese Feng Shui believes that by placing a pair of Fu Dogs (also known as Temple Lions) on either side of your main door (outside the house), those who have evil intentions towards you will feel uncomfortable whenever they enter your house. It will also protect you from these people. Try it! The best part is these Fu Dogs are really interesting home decor for your entrance. Most house entrance is plain and boring. Having these dogs will highlight your front door/main gate and lift it to a grand looking entrance. If you can't imagine what it'll look like, go rent a Chinese film/series.

Fu Dogs should come in a pair (male and female). The one with a ball in its mouth is a male. From inside looking out, the male Fu Dog should be placed on the right side of the entrance while the female Fu Dog on the other side. If your front door is exposed to sunlight and rain, do get those Fu Dogs carved with high resistant materials such as bronze.

Life Lessons A Three Step Process

I have come to the conclusion that no matter what you want out of life there is a three step process.

The first step is to make a decision. You need to decide if you want to lose weight, stop smoking, save money, find a compatible mate, spend more time with your children, start a business, volunteer… you get the idea. Whatever it is you want to do, the first step is to decide and I mean really decide that you want to do it. Just talking it to death is not making a decision, making the effort and moving forward after making the decision is. So first, write down the decision you have made.

The next step is the big one, the big “C” and that is to make a commitment to your decision. The commitment is the stumbling point for so many. They talk and talk about the decisions, I’m going to lose weight, I am going to start my own business, I am going to stop smoking, etc.

A commitment means taking the steps to fulfill the decision you made. Making a plan to move forward. If your decision is to spend more time with your children, decide what days and time you will spend with them and make up a list of the things you could do with them. Or if you decide to volunteer, make a list of your interests, and then match that to a organization that needs volunteers.

If you have decided to start a business then make a plan on how you want to proceed. If you have decided to save money, you need to make a concentrated effort and a commitment to do so.

The commitment is how you are going to implement the decision and you must stick to your commitment or you are back in the decision stage and that is a “no man’s land”.

Okay, you made a decision, and have committed yourself to that decision, now the last step is to Succeed. Don’t think you are done. As a former smoker I know that you have to still commit yourself every day so you can continue to succeed. Same goes for those of us trying to keep weight off, and probably the best known continual effort is that of the alcoholic.Think of AA and the ongoing process.

So, make your decision, commit to it, and you will succeed, provided you continue to commit to your decision.

Wishing you the best in whatever decision you make!

The Angry and Sometimes Grumpy Children of the 1950s

A bunch of us in our late 40's and early 50's got together the other night, and after the evening was over I started thinking that many of us born in the 1950's are in a crisis stage. People can't understand why we are so angry and grumpy sometimes. This article discusses some of the issues we have with society today and might enlighten others (the younger set) as to why we seem so disillusioned, and out of sorts at times.

The consensus of the group was "is this all there is." We've been working since our teens. A car costs more today than what our parents bought a house for. We work and work and still don't have enough. Food costs have risen astronomically, along with utility costs, insurance costs, and housing costs.

We started laughing at one point and said we sound like our grandparents. However, it is a very sad commentary that what took place for our grandparents over numerous decades, has only taken 20 to 30 years to occur for us. The real scary thing is that salaries for many jobs have not changed over that twenty year period, while our expenses have skyrocketed, and increased one hundred fold.

We all became nostalgic when we talked about the things we used to do to relax. How so many of those things are gone, or we can't afford to do them any longer. Our kids tell us we don't have a clue about school, sex, music, or what's going on in the world. Again, the laughter abounded with the music issues, but became very serious when we talked about the scary things kids do today, that we wouldn't even have thought of when we were growing up. Killing teachers, and other students never entered our minds. We had respect for our teachers and those in charge.

The next thing we ranted about was our health. For some of us, the ravages of time have taken place... eyesight problems, arthritis problems, blood pressure problems, "the barnacles of life". The discussion we had on the cost of health care was a lively and volatile one to say the least. Many of us who have had major illness problems also went ballistic with regards to the social security system, the disability system and Medicare system. The majority of us have worked since our teenage years. We were incredulous when it took over a year to get money from the social security system, especially when we see people playing the system who don't deserve it.

All of us are still working. The majority of our group are either self-employed or independent contractors. Many of us run home-based businesses. While we are still disheartened with the rise in costs, at least our work environment is a happy one, and one we feel in control of. For those in our group still working in corporate America, that's just an additional concern and stress for them. Is their job safe? Will they be downsized? Laid off? We went back and forth on the work issue and found that while running your own business is a risk, we have a lot more control over our destiny than if we worked for someone else, and hence, a lot less stress. Plus we can't fire ourselves.

We all wondered where it will end. So many of us thought we would be retired by now, or at least contemplating it within the next ten to fifteen years. However, with all the medical advances and hundred-fold costs of so many things, that is not an option. Retirement is no longer something people do automatically between 55 and 65. Today, the retirement age is in the 70's.

For many of us, the thought of another twenty or more years of working is a depressing one, in addition to making us very angry and grumpy to say the least.

Hopefully this article will provide some insight to those who wonder why the over 40 generation is so angry and grumpy at times.

A house is not a Home without a Gnome

When confronted by a garden gnome the common reaction is to hold up your hands in horror and utter an expression of disgust while wondering how anyone can bear to allow such a creature to remain in their backyard. On the other hand we are told on good authority that the gnome population of Southern Germany is close on four million and, when you start looking, there are quite a number visible in the US.

Perhaps we should not be surprised by the Germans since gnomes were first created in their country in the early 1800's. The earliest recorded sighting in England was in 1840 at Lamport Hall, the seat of Sir Charles Isham. It was not until 1872 that gnomes for the garden began to be manufactured in large numbers. According to German folklore gnomes were regarded as good luck charms. They were supposed to help around the house and garden and in rural areas often lived in the rafters of barns where they would keep a watchful eye on the owner's animals as well as the crops and garden produce.

Over the years the German gnome makers honed their skills and became master craftsmen. At its peak the Griebel gnome factory in East Germany produced some 300 different gnome characters. Following the collapse of communism in 1989 entrepreneurs in the Czech Republic decided to enter the market and to produce cheap imitations of the traditional characters. Initially they were prevented from entering Germany by a law which allowed customs to confiscate those gnomes infringing companies' copyright. However, now it is a free for all on the German border and Reinhard Griebel, the great grandson of the founder of the firm, has just one workshop and the gnome museum.

Whilst the original gnomes were depicted as gardeners engaged in the traditional rural tasks, the range was increased to include anyone from fishermen to musicians, sportsmen and farmers. It was not long before living individuals were being modelled in clay or stoneware. Among those currently available are gladiator Russell Crowe, TV gardeners Alan Titchmarsh and Charlie Dimmock and even a Tony Blair wall plaque.

For gnome lovers no trip to Europe would be complete without a visit to the Gnome Reserve set in the wilds of northern Devon in England. There you will find over one thousand gnomes and pixies in the four acre reserve. Gnome hats are loaned free of charge together with fishing rods, so you don't embarrass the gnomes!

There are some who view the cheerful little character sitting in your yard in a different light. FreeTheGnomes.com provides Garden Gnome Liberation information and calls to action. They proclaim that "Thousands of Gnomes are enslaved in Gardens across America. For too long we have let our neighbors usurp the rights of these gentle woodland creatures. Join our boycott. Organize a picket demonstration. Write to Congress. Free a Gnome. We'll show you how."

Some groups have taken the law into their own hands. In April 2000 in Paris the dormant Garden Gnome Liberation Front sprang back to life, stealing about 20 gnomes during a nighttime raid on a Paris exhibition. "We demand ... that garden gnomes are no longer ridiculed and that they be released into their natural habitat," the Front's Paris wing said in a statement following its weekend strike.

Disappearing gnomes have caused headaches for police forces worldwide. In May 2004 The Scotsman reported that a spate of bizarre thefts had left Lothians police with several unusual prisoners - 14 garden gnomes. An elderly woman complained to police that someone was stealing gnomes from her yard in Fairfax County, Washington D.C. Officers set up a spy-cam and caught their suspect in the act four times. Police revealed that their bad guy was really a not-so-bad Labrador retriever named Magnum. The dog had been retrieving the figurines and bringing them home. In Australia, garden gnomes started disappearing from one particular neighbourhood on a large scale. They were found in a clearing in the bush months later, where they were all gathered around the largest gnome, having a meeting.

If you have not yet succumbed to the temptation to acquire one of these cheerful little creatures, let me leave you with one final thought. A study carried out in England in 2003 into matters to be considered when selling your home found that having a gnome in your front garden reduced the value of your house by $840.

Talking With Elderly Parents

Delivering unpleasant news is never pleasant, and especially if you’re talking with someone whom you love and care for…like your parents. Plus, it’s awkward because the roles are reversed and you find yourself “being the parent”.

1. Spend some time preparing for your talk with parents about changes that have become necessary…the fact that it is no longer safe for them to drive, the necessity of help in managing their finances, an impending move to either an assisted living facility or a nursing home. Think through the question, “What will this mean to them? What will they perceive that they are losing?” For instance, when you are preparing to assist in a move to an assisted living facility or a nursing home, anticipate the resistance that will come from their belief that they are losing such things as independence, contact with familiar surroundings, contact with family members.


2. Plan to retain or replace as many of the material things or emotional losses as possible. For instance, explore ways to give as much independence as possible. In cases of physical moves, surround them with family pictures, treasured items, their own furniture when possible.


3. In your initial conversations, help them understand the purpose of the changes you are proposing. Give factual examples of incidents that indicate changes are needed. For example, “When you were driving to the grocery store Monday, I watched as you pulled out into the street in front of a car. The car swerved and, thankfully, you did not wreck. I’ve observed this kind of thing several times.”


4. Preserve dignity and self esteem as much as possible. Point out the things they can do. Normalize the fact that response times for everyone get slower as the years creep by. Recount the many times when you were growing up that your parents gave you extra help when you needed it, and affirm that they have well earned a little extra assistance from you.


5. Meet objections calmly, verbally “reflecting” the feelings they are expressing. You might say something like, “I realize that it will be hard to have me balancing your checkbook and paying your bills. You’ve always done that, and have taken pride in doing it well. I can understand how you might feel angry about my saying that you need some assistance with that.”


6. Don’t expect their immediate buy-in to the change. This takes time, and much of the adjustment to the change comes after it is made. Sometimes, when you’ve determined the change is necessary and you’ve tried over time to compassionately introduce the change to them, you have to “just do it”.


7. Give yourself compassion, too. Expect a myriad of emotions…such as guilt, grief, or anger. These are normal. When you’ve tried to do the right thing, when you’ve worked at being caring as you share unwelcome news with your parents… be kind to yourself. Realize that sometimes, in order to be loving and do what is best for those you love, you must do tough things. Encourage yourself as you would a friend… “You’re doing the best you can do, under the circumstances.”

Dr. Bev Smallwood is a psychologist who has worked with organizations across the globe for over 20 years. Her high-energy, high-content, high-involvement Magnetic Workplaces (r) programs provide dozens of practical strategies and skills that can be put to work immediately to:

1. build strong leaders who influence and develop others through serving;


2. energize, motivate, and retain team members;


3. successfully accomplish important organizational transitions; and


4. impress customers and build their loyalty.

Family Relationships Under Fire

Lessons from the Front Line

I sat glued to the news conference as three wounded soldiers – Marine Lance Corporal Joshua Menard, Army Staff Sergeant James Villafane, and Army Sergeant Charles Horgan - recounted their experiences of coming under fire from Iraqi troops in civilian dress at the city of Nassiriya. Villafane and Horgan told about being struck by an incoming missile. As I watched, I, too, was struck…by the similarities between their experiences on the battlefield and those of stressed-out families, “under fire.” Listen and learn from their experiences.

Lesson 1: DON’T BE CAUGHT OFF-GUARD; PREPARE. Menard said, “We were very surprised. We were told that when we were going through Nassiriya that we would see little to no resistance. They weren’t rolling over like we thought they would.” Realistically anticipate and prepare for the inevitable challenges your family will face. “Prepare for the worst,” while guarding the positive attitudes that “create the best.”

Lesson 2: YOUR GOOD INTENTIONS CAN BE MISUNDERSTOOD. Villafane commented, “The amount of resistance, some of it I don’t understand. I mean, we’re there to help them to get them out of the regime. It was a shock that they would actually do that, given the treatment we try to give them. We try to treat them fairly.” Know this! You can be misunderstood by family members, even when you have the best of intentions and are trying your best. Parents, it takes courage to make wise, yet unpopular decisions. On the other hand, “meaning well” can’t substitute for “doing well.” Check your actions, being willing to openly consider what it’s like to be on the other side of you.

Lesson 3: DON’T MAKE MISTAKES ABOUT WHO YOUR ENEMY IS. A group of Iraqi soldiers dressed in the civilian robes of nomad Bedoins opened fire on Menard as he and six other Marines approached them on a bridge in Nassiriya. Military enemies, pretending to be harmless. Even more appalling was the account of the American soldier who allegedly threw the grenade that killed and injured people in his own troop. Yet, we’ve lost our sensitivity to the shock of similar assaults in our own families…daily “grenades” of hurtful words and destructive actions. “Out there”, there are so many enemies to the wellbeing of family members. How can we hope to combat those if we spend our time fighting within our own ranks? What can you do today to mend family rifts?

Lesson 4: DON’T PANIC WHEN TROUBLES COME. Sergeant Horgan told about how he worked to stay calm, though he had just been wounded by the enemy missile. He said that he was grateful that “training kicks in” and that he was able not to panic. “My foot may be gone, but I gotta move.” When you are faced with an unexpected and distressing challenge in your family, don’t panic, reacting impulsively. Seek help if necessary. Don’t say or do things that make the situation worse in the long run. Stop…think…plan…then act.

Lesson 5: PROTECT YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS, NOT JUST YOURSELF. The way these well-trained, courageous soldiers behaved under fire is, to me, the greatest of our lessons in family teamwork. Listen in, and examine your own habits and actions.

Horgan, whose right leg and foot were ripped open when he was blown from his gunning position, described his thoughts when he saw the incoming missile: “Oh, my God, I’m gonna die. I gotta warn my buddies.”

Villafane quipped, “It’s not being shot at that so bad. It’s being shot that really sucks!” (Can you relate to that?) Despite the horror of what they had experienced, the three wounded men all said they felt a sense of guilt about leaving friends behind in Iraq. Horgan told reporters, “I’m relieved that I’m out… Nobody can be shot and say, ‘Wow, I really want to go back out there. That was great.’ But I’m kind of sad that I’m not with the guys who protected me. My friends protected me when I needed them. I joined to serve my country. But when I was there, I was fighting to protect my friends.

Dr. Bev Smallwood is a psychologist who has worked with organizations across the globe for over 20 years. Her high-energy, high-content, high-involvement Magnetic Workplaces (r) programs provide dozens of practical strategies and skills that can be put to work immediately to:

1. build strong leaders who influence and develop others through serving;


2. energize, motivate, and retain team members;


3. successfully accomplish important organizational transitions; and


4. impress customers and build their loyalty.

The dos and donts of shopping for antiques at flea markets and garage sales

The flea market and garage sale season are always popular. Here’s what you need to know to make your next flea market or garage sale outing a success.

DO arrive early. This is true for flea markets and garage sales. The good stuff really does get snapped up quickly. Remember you’ll have lots of competition from professional dealers to part time eBayers to the flea market and garage sale junkies who all start at the crack of dawn.

DO look for items with potential. A fresh coat of paint can revitalize an old chair. Old rubber boots and cracked teapots make great planters. Vintage ladders can store magazines or towels. Vintage lead glass windows can be fastened together to make screens or fashioned into mirrors.

DO be careful rummaging through boxes. Boxes of kitchen utensils may contain rusty sharp objects.

DO run your finger over the edges of glassware and dishes to check for chips and cracks.

DO have measurements and floor plans handy. You don’t want to get home and realize that your beautiful purchase won’t fit in the desired space or more importantly it won’t even fit through the door.

DO have the right gear. Bring a measuring tape, note pad and pencils.

DO have a rolling basket to cart around your purchases at a flea market.

DO take your item away right away. You don’t want to run the risk of returning at the end of the day to pick up a large purchase to find that the seller hands you back your money because he accepted a higher offer.

DO know the value of merchandise so you’ll know if you’re getting a deal.

DO check marks on silver and porcelain. So have your pocket reference guides handy.

DO target garage sales close to affluent areas because they’re likely to have good stuff.

DO negotiate. Now is the time to haggle. But you should always have a top price in mind and be prepared to walk away if the price is too high.

DO buy a number of things from one seller. The seller is likely to give you a good price to buyers who purchase more than one thing. You’ll usually come out ahead.

DO ask the seller his price. You don’t want the seller to ask you how much you are willing to pay because you may mention a price higher than what the seller was thinking.

DO bring cash. Bring some small bills. Don’t pull out a $20 to pay for a $3 item.

DO check for the return policy at a flea market. Most likely there isn’t one.

DON'T get too excited. Remain calm, cool and collected when you see something that you love. Gushing over a piece is sure to send the price skyward.

DON'T buy the first thing you see at a flea market. Do a quick walk about the flea market to check all the goods. You don’t want to be disappointed when you see something that you like better two aisles over.

DON'T make impulse purchases because they likely will become merchandise for your own garage sale down the road.

DON'T look too good. Leave the fancy car, jewelry and togs at home. This will help with the haggling. Sellers won’t budge too much on price if they think that you can afford to pay more for it.

How to Care for Your Silver

Silver is beautiful but it can tarnish quickly. This sometimes puts people off collecting it. Don’t let it deter you. Here are some tips to help you enjoy your silver.

— Use it. Regular use is best. Silver was made to be used.

— Wash in hot mild soapy water. To avoid spotting, wash quickly in hot mild soapy water, rinse in hot clean water and dry quickly.

— Avoid contact with scotch tape, cardboard and newspaper. Acids in the tape, cardboard and newspaper can be harmful to silver.

— Use acid-free paper. Wrap silver in acid free paper when storing.

— Avoid contact with eggs, onions and peas. The sulfur in these foods combines with silver to form silver sulphide, which discolors the surface.

— Avoid contact with wool and felt. These fabrics contain harmful sulfur.

— Avoid contact with rubber. Don’t fasten cutlery with rubber bands or store rubber bands in silver cups etc because rubber contains ingredients that can tarnish silver. This includes latex gloves. Don’t wear them when cleaning your silver.

— Avoid dishwashers. The combination of harsh detergents and very high temperatures is far too much for sterling to bear.

— Avoid salt. Remove salt from silver saltshakers and salt sellers after each use. Salt is a corrosive element. Storing these items with salt in them will damage them along with the rest of the silver in the cupboard because salt will permeate the air.

— Clean silver candlesticks carefully. Avoid using a knife or other sharp object to remove the nub of a candle. Instead, pour in a little hot water. Let it sit and then the remainder of the candle will slip out.

— Don’t store silver in freshly painted drawers. Some paints can accelerate tarnishing. You should wait 4 months.

Cleaning your silver

Here are a couple of methods to clean your silver.

— Commercial cleaners. A wide assortment of commercial cleaners is available at grocery and hardware stores. The less abrasive the cleaner, the better.

— Aluminum foil method — This fast working homemade remedy works like a charm. Add to pot of boiling water – a piece of aluminum foil, salt or a water softener such as Calgon. The chemical reaction among these elements quickly lifts tarnish. Works well for cutlery, trays etc.

— Toothpaste — An old standby that works in a pinch. Apply with a soft toothbrush. Remove with soft clean cloth.

Storing your silver

A humid environment encourages tarnishing. Caustic elements such as sulfur and salt cause tarnishing and pitting. Using one and/or more of these techniques will help to create a barrier between your precious silver and that pesky tarnish.

— Anti-tarnish strips — Can be added to drawers where silver is stored. These strips, containing activated charcoal absorb tarnish producing gases.

— Kenzied cloth — Line your drawers with this 100 per cent cotton per cent cotton flannel cloth. When used in combination with anti-tarnish strips, they provide a good barrier.

— Polyethylene bags — Store silver pieces in polyethylene bags that create a barrier from tarnish producing gases.

— Desiccated silica gel & activated charcoal — Add to storage area a small container of desiccated silica gel that absorbs water to keep humidity levels low and a small container of activated charcoal. This one-two combination packs a punch and absorbs harmful gases. Works well when added to polyethylene bag.

Antiques Wood Basics

Oak, mahogany, walnut, pine, rosewood, maple, elm; you may have some or all of these woods in your home. But, do you know how to tell the difference among them? In this month’s column, we’ll talk about the different kinds of wood that are regularly seen in antique furniture and some common decorative treatments.

The Basics

Wood is hard or soft. When I say hard, I mean that the wood is dense, whereas, a soft wood is supple. A good trick to tell the difference between hard and soft wood is that if you press your fingernail into a soft wood such as pine, it leaves an indentation. But, this does not happen with a hard wood such as oak.

Wood is coarse-grain or close-grain. In coarse-grain wood, the age rings in the wood are far a part, giving it an uneven appearance. In close-grain woods, the age rings in the wood are very close together, giving it a smooth, delicate appearance.

Sometimes, wood is stained. Lighter woods such as oak, elm and maple can be stained to resemble a darker mahogany or rosewood.

Some woods (mahogany, rosewood, burl walnut) are perceived to be more valuable than other woods (elm, maple, spruce). The reason for this is availability. Woods that need to be imported are more expensive than home-grown woods. Woods that are abundant are not as expensive as woods that are scarce.

Oak

Oak is a coarse-grain hard wood found in Europe and North America. Starting in 17th century Europe, oak was used to make furniture found throughout the home. There are several varieties including red oak and white oak. Young oak is pale in color. But, over time and with polishing, oak darkens into a rich brown color.

Mahogany

Mahogany is a close-grain hard wood native to northern and central South America and the West Indies. Mahogany was a popular choice in England during the mid-18th century for fine furniture making. It is a dark red color sometimes, however, it is dark brown. Red mahogany is found in the West Indies and brown mahogany is native to South America. Mahogany furniture continues to be desirable today.

Rosewood

Rosewood is a close-grain hard wood indigenous to India, South America and the West Indies. Rosewood is named for the rose scent that releases when it is cut. Occasionally, I find that people confuse rosewood and mahogany. Both woods can be red in color. However, when you look closely at rosewood, you’ll see fine black (and sometimes white) rings that are not present in mahogany. Another trick to tell if an item is rosewood is to pick it up. Rosewood is a very heavy wood, heavier than mahogany. In the 17th century China, rosewood was a popular choice for fine furniture makers. As well, in 19th century Europe, it was used to construct better-quality furniture for fine homes.

Walnut

Walnut is close-grain hard wood found in Europe and North America. The color varies from light to a very rich golden brown color and it is not uncommon to find walnut stained to look like mahogany. Sometimes, disease leads to the unexpected. Burl walnut, the most prized form of walnut, results from a disease that attacks the tree causing a beautiful scrolled, close-grain. These days you see the look of burl walnut replicated in the plastic interiors of some higher end cars.

Pine

Pine is a pale, knotted soft wood with a wide, straight grain. It grows in Europe and North America. Pine was often used in furniture intended to be painted. Everyday furniture — kitchen tables and chairs -were often made from pine.

Maple & Elm

Maple and elm are coarse-grain hard woods found in North America and Europe. They were frequently used in utilitarian furniture. Often a veneer of a finer wood was applied to these woods.

Veneers

Veneering is a technique where a very thin sheet of a more expensive wood is glued to a less expensive wood. Using less expensive woods such as elm and maple and adding a more expensive mahogany or walnut veneer allowed furniture makers to provide furniture that was affordable for a larger clientele. You may hear an antique dealer say; "This table is walnut on maple." The dealer means that the item has a walnut veneer and underneath the actual item is maple. A walnut on maple table is less valuable than a solid walnut table.

How do you tell if your furniture is veneered? Look at the edges of the piece. If you see what appears to be a seam, it is veneered. On the other hand, if the edges of the piece are seamless, it is solid.

Early veneers from the 17th century were hand-cut, so they could be uneven. But, in the 19th century veneers started to be cut by machine. This allowed the veneers to be cut very thin and even. Depending on the way the wood is cut, veneering produces different effects. Butterfly veneering occurs when two opposing end grain veneers are diagonally cut from a branch. They are applied to mirror each other.

Marquetry/Parquetry/Inlay

Marquetry is a technique where various kinds of wood are applied to a surface to produce a picture. Flowers and birds were often the subjects. Exotic woods such as ebony, satinwood and tulipwood were frequently employed.

The difference between marquetry and parquetry is the subject matter. Parquetry is a veneer that uses geometric patterns. Nowadays, you see it in parquet hardwood floors and ornate chess and backgammon boards.

Inlay is a decorative treatment where materials other than wood are cut into a design. Inlays were often made of bone, ivory, mother of pearl, brass, tortoise shell. Marquetry, parquetry and inlay first appeared during the Italian Renaissance.

Gilding

Gilding is a technique wherein gold leaf is applied with gesso (a plaster-like substance) to wood. It is highly decorative and was popular during the Italian Renaissance and the Louis period in France.

How To Safeguard Against Rape

If you are a female, chances are one in ten that you will be a victim of sexual assault.

An attacker makes no distinction between race, age, appearance, or any other characteristic.

COMMON SENSE is your best defense against attack.

Because every rape is different, there is no one solution for thwarting an attack; however, keep in mind...

The attacker must have the opportunity and privacy to be able to assault you.

Be aware of your surroundings

Walk and talk with confidence

Don't look or act like a victim

Have a plan in mind of what you will do if ever attacked

If you are attacked, evaluate the situation and look for ways to escape.

Some women have avoided rape by talking their way out of it,

by acting crazy, or by fighting back - A kick in the groin MAY NOT work successfully - you may lose your balance If you do decide to respond physically, remember that your first priority is to get away

DO NOT BE AFRAID TO DO ANYTHING NECESSARY TO ACCOMPLISH THIS. Don't worry about hurting the attacker.

YOUR safety and escape are the ONLY things you should worry about

Act quickly and decisively to throw the attacker off guard in your escape plan

After An Attack

Seek IMMEDIATE medical attention. Do NOTHING ELSE until you do this.

PRESERVE THE EVIDENCE, ie., Don't change your clothes, wash off, or disturb the scene of the crime.

You call, or have the medical facility call the police immediately.

If the above steps are not available to you, at least Get to a safe place and follow the steps above as soon as you can.

Medical attention is vital!

Many hospitals provide free care for rape victims and offer venereal disease treatment.

REMEMBER: Even if you don't get immediate help, follow-up tests for venereal disease (VD) are essential.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, be embarrassed to seek help. Though, it might be difficult to talk about, it is vitally important to tell the doctors what sex acts took place so they will know what medical attention is needed

Try to remember, even in the smallest detail, your exact experience, to assist the police.

It is extremely important that you give an accurate and complete description of your assailant.

Your complete cooperation with all authorities may help, not only in more attacks by your assailant, but in a swift capture and justice.