Did you know that the percentage of parents who believe spanking is necessary has dropped from 94% in 1968 to 55% in 1999? Yet, the incidence of parents who generally spank their toddlers remains at about 94%?
In Proverbs 13:24 of the Old Testament, we read, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” This scripture has often been used by parents to defend their position of thinking spanking is necessary to discipline children. When you look up the original interpretation of the Hebrew word for ‘rod’, it not only means to strike or hit; it also means correction. The interpretation for the word ‘discipline’ means instruction. In other words, discipline is supposed to instruct or teach our children how to make better choices so they can become successful as they grow older. I’m going to share with you some research findings concerning a myth about spanking and then follow up with some questions to ask yourself about spanking the next time you think a child may need it.
A popular myth concerning spanking American children today is that it works when other methods fail. To examine the effectiveness of spanking, you need to look at a child’s behavior changes over three time periods: (1) The Immediate situation, (2)The short run ( next few hours or days), and (3) The long run (months or years).
In looking at immediate-situation effectiveness, a study was done with parents of school age children. The researchers wanted to know if spanking was effective for when children did not stay in their time-out place. They compared spanking with another method called the escape barrier method. The findings showed on an average, it took 8.3 spankings to get the children to stay in their time-out place. The other method worked as well, which shows that repetition and consistency cause changes in behavior; not necessarily the spanking.
A study done in 1988 showed spanking does not teach a lesson with toddlers. 1,002 mothers were asked what was the last misbehavior for which they spanked their child. They were then asked if they had previously spanked for that misbehavior. 73% said yes; indicating spanking did not have a high success rate.
If you look to see what behavior changes occur from spanking over the short run, which is anywhere from a few hours to a few days, there is evidence which shows that spanking will, on the average, stop misbehavior; at least for the moment.
When you spank a child, you create something else that interferes with the effectiveness of spanking being used for correction and control. Spanking gets in the way with a child’s ability to think. Being slapped or spanked is a frightening and threatening event that arouses strong emotions such as humiliation, sadness or anger. When a child (or adult for that matter) is upset, angry or scared, the limbic part of the brain is engaged. This part, which I call the lizard part of the brain, has no thinking abilities; it merely reacts. A child’s reaction to being spanked is fear. When this happens, the child moves to the lizard part of the brain and is unable to think or process things with the parent. Therefore, the child cannot learn from the experience from a mental point of view. Because spanking does not provide an explanation of the problem, the child doesn’t necessarily learn what he or she did to create the punishment.
Research evidence also indicates spanking is less effective in the long run as well. Why? (1) It teaches a child to avoid misbehavior if a parent is watching. If the child is only good when the parent is around, the child hasn’t developed moral values. (2) This does not promote a child’s internal controls. (3) It weakens the parent-child bond because it instills fear within the child, and (4) It doesn’t help the child develop cognitive and social skills; child doesn’t develop conflict resolution skills. What’s the alternative?
According to Dr. Phil, there are three questions to ask yourself before spanking a child:
1. Does spanking calm the child down? Does it put your child into the thinking part of the brain or does it keep him or her in the lizard part?
2. What does your child learn by being hit? It tells your child violence is acceptable and that it’s ok to react when you get mad.
3. Is it working for the long-term? Spanking doesn’t help your child learn from his or her bad choices; it doesn’t get the child to figure out what she or he did wrong or how to keep from doing it again Research findings also support the idea that the more effective form of discipline, which is to teach the child, is some form of reason/explanation used with non-corporal punishment. This could be the use of natural consequences which place the units of concern on the child instead of the parent. In reality, spanking does not necessarily work when other methods fail. Children will learn best when they are given explanations and natural consequences.
